Back to School: The Great Parental Tug-of-War

Because nothing says “September” like missing your kids while simultaneously skipping back from the school gates.

The Great Big Sigh Heard Across Britain

The uniforms are (sort of) ironed, the book bags are crammed with unlabelled pens, and somewhere in the distance a thousand parents are exhaling in unison. Yes, the children are back at school and, frankly, we’re not sorry about it.

After six weeks of doling out snacks every 14 minutes, refereeing arguments about whose turn it is on the swing, and pretending to enjoy glitter crafts, the idea of handing them over to a professional for seven hours feels… blissful.

Hot Tea, Toilets Alone, and Other Exotic Luxuries

Once they’re safely deposited, you can enjoy life’s underrated treasures:

• A hot cuppa that hasn’t been microwaved three times.
• A trip to the loo without an audience.
• Telly that doesn’t involve pigs in wellies or irritating theme songs.

It’s like a spa day—except instead of cucumber water, you’re drinking lukewarm instant coffee out of a chipped mug. Still, we’ll take it.

…But Then the Silence Creeps In

You walk home hummingHallelujah, only to open the door and realise the house is just too quiet. No shrieking. No trail of Rice Krispies leading from the kitchen to the sofa. No one shouting “Muuuuum, he’s LOOKING at me!”

You find yourself missing the noise, the hugs, even the Lego arguments—until, of course, you step on a Lego brick and remember that unconditional love has limits.

The SIVA Routine: Every Parent’s Groundhog Day

Back to school means back to the four-part routine we all know too well:

• School run chaos: Missing shoes, emergency costume requests, and someone brushing their teeth with Bonjela. All before 8:30am.
• Intermediate coffee: The life-saving flat white (or builder’s brew) consumed while promising yourself you’ll “get organised” this term. Spoiler: you won’t.
• Very important errands: That quick Sainsbury’s dash that morphs into a trolley full of custard creams, three-for-two baby wipes, and socks you definitely didn’t need.
• Afternoon pick-up: Reverse chaos, featuring seventeen soggy permission slips, a half-eaten satsuma, and tomorrow’s last-minute shoebox volcano project.

By bedtime, you’re ready to collapse. The kids, of course, are wide awake, bouncing on the bed like caffeinated kangaroos.

Parenthood: A Walking Contradiction

We spend the summer craving space, then miss them desperately once we get it. We long for peace and quiet, then put on the radio just to fill the silence. We want to stop being snack machines, yet still sneakily cut their sandwiches into funny shapes because it makes them smile.

So here’s to every parent muddling through September. May your mornings be less manic, your tea actually hot, and your SIVA routine leave room for chocolate biscuits. Because let’s be honest—that’s the real school survival kit.