Lockdown has certainly been a testing time for me and my family in many ways. Emotions have been up and down like a roller-coaster. The first lockdown I lost my Grandad who was my hero. We didn’t get the chance to go and see him to say goodbye as he had COVID-19, it was the worst situation that we could have been in. It was also extremely tough not being able to hug my Grandma in this situation or to give my Grandad the send-off he deserved, it just felt inhuman. The childminders also had to shut down which meant my 2-year-old little girl was having to stay at home with my husband and I. I had set up a business not long before lockdown so I was really busy and my husband also seemed to be busier than ever, we had to have a rota between us to look after her. As the weeks went by lockdown got harder and so did the ‘mum guilt’ as I felt I wasn’t giving my full attention to my little girl and that didn’t sit well with me at all, I felt awful and I just wanted to take her to a dance class or breakfast at our local café, I just felt out of control.
The in between lockdowns seemed to feel like we had got back in to a routine my little girl had gone back to the childminders, you could meet up outside with family it felt we were on the right tracks. Then lockdown no.3 came and this has been a whole other ballgame. Luckily for us the childminders has remained open which has meant I have been able to work but I have really struggled not being able to see family as they don’t live close by and cannot be in our bubble. I also have family who live abroad and we have not been able to see them for nearly 18 months, it is most probably going to be 2 years until we can see them again.
I really can’t wait until the summer to hopefully see all my family again; it can’t come quick enough.
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